Blog

Christmas IT Jokes that are so bad even the cracker factory didn't want them!

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000

We thought we would change it up slightly this week in the run up to Christmas with some really bad, no, woefully bad IT Jokes just to make you appreciate the ones you get out of Christmas Crackers even more!

Buckle up, here goes....

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Q. How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None - it's a hardware fault

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Q. Why did the keyboard maker get sacked in the run up to Christmas?
A. He kept forgetting to put in his "Shifts"

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Q. What is the difference between an ordinary computer keyboard and a Christmas computer keyboard?
A. Not much really apart from the Christmas keyboard has "No L"

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A network engineer finds himself shipwrecked on a desert island, not knowing what to do, he decides to take a quick inventory of what he has with him.
He has a pocket knife, a candy bar and a reel of network fibre cable.
While he ponders his fate, he uses the pocket knife to cut a bit off the candy bar and comes up with a plan.
He digs a trench, buries the cable, then waits....
30 minutes later, a utility companies turns up, and true to form, digs up the exact same spot on the ground severing the fibre.
The engineer got his rescue.

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A programmer is going to the shops so his wife says to him "can you get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, can you get a dozen."
About 2 hours later, the programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
His wife says "why did you get so much bread?"
He says, "because the shop had eggs."

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A man is flying in a hot air balloon when realizes he has no idea where he is.
He lets out some hot air from the balloon to reduce altitude until he is low enough to be withing shouting distance of a man on the ground.
He leans over the edge of the basket and shouts "Hello, you down there, can you tell me where I am?"
The man on the ground says, "Yes, of course. You're in a hot air balloon, about 20 feet above me, flying over a field"
The man in the balloon replies "You must work in IT"
"I do", says the man on the ground, who then goes on to say "How did you work that out?"
The man in the balloon replies "whilst what you told me is technically correct, it's of no use to man nor beast"
The man on the ground thinks for a bit then replies "You must be a Business Manager."
"I am" replies the astonished man in the balloon, who replies "tell me, how did you know?"
"Well", says the man on the ground, "you don't know where you are, OR where you are going, BUT you expect me to be able to answer your questions. You're still in the same position you were before we met, but now it's all my fault."

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Q. How can you tell if a programmer is an extrovert?
A. He stares at your shoes when he talks to you.

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Q. What does an HTML coder and a spider have in common?
A. They both make web sites

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Q. Why was Microsoft Outlook wearing reading glasses?
A. Because it lost its contacts

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A customer rings up their IT support company saying "Help, for some reason my computer keeps on singing the theme song to Skyfall"
The IT engineer replies "Don't worry, that's normal for A Dell"

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Q. What is a hackers favourite hobby?
A. Going Phishing

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Q. Why are the mummies from the pyramids insecure?
A. Because they were unencrypted

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Q. How did the hacker escape when being chased by the police?
A. He Ransomware

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Q. Why are email security gateways so lonely?
A. They are afraid of attachment(s)

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Q. Why did the programmer leave his visit to the countryside early?
A. He found too many bugs

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There are 10 types of people in this world... those who understand binary and those that don't

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Q. How do computer nerds start a speed dating session?
A. "Singles, sign on"

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Stop groaning, I said at the start they were awful!!

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year. To see our office opening hours over Christmas click here

We will be in touch with our customers in the new year with some exciting offers and ways to save money, helping your budget go even further!

Did you know we now do phone systems?

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Cloud telephony system

As we approach the new year, we have decided to bite the bullet and expand our technology portfolio to include directly selling telephone systems so that we can sell reliable, low-cost telephony solutions to our customers instead of reselling someone else's offering, and because of this, we won’t tie you into excessively long contract terms, unlike other companies that are contractually bound to resell services at the suppliers terms.

We have put together a flexible platform using one of the industry leading cloud PBX (phone system) solutions, coupled with programmable handsets, both wired and wireless, and soft phones that can installed on computers and mobiles and be used anywhere, allowing businesses to have flexible communications both in and away from the office.

Why have we decided to do this?

The primary reason we have decided to provide our clients with telephony solutions is to cut out the 3rd party suppliers that can cause delay and issue because we were stuck in the middle, brokering support issues on behalf of our clients.

By bringing it in house, we can support the solution directly, without having to broker support to a 3rd party supplier, we support and maintain the phone system directly for our clients, meaning we can make changes and updates for our clients without having to wait on others. We manage it directly.

Would we use it ourselves?

Yes, absolutely, in fact we already do. We wanted to change our phone system, our old system, although good, was far too complicated, difficult to use and whilst it could do what we needed, it was very easy to break if we got any of the settings even slightly wrong.

What is more, we were relying on a supplier to support it, we were at the mercy of their internal service level agreements, so if we had a problem, we would go into a queue and have to wait for it to be resolved.

We don't like that. which is why we decided to find a solution we could support ourselves, one that had comprehensive functionality without it being so complicated that we would need to send people on weeks of training just to master the basics.

So we found a solution, one that is so good, and so comprehensive that we adopted it for ourselves and use it as our business phone system.

And because we love the functionality so much and that we can comprehensively support it, we decided it was time to share it with you, our clients, to benefit from the same flexible, work anywhere phone system that we use.

How does it work?

I will try to put this in easy to understand terms. For years telephony remained the same, it is only until recently that it has changed how it works. Here is the boring potted history lesson, you can skip it if you want to but here goes...

In the past, telephony was pretty basic, for decades we used to rely on PSTN (public switched telephone networks), it was typically 1 phone number on one copper wire if you were a house. If you wanted a second line they would string a second bit of wire. For businesses they could use ISDN (Integrated Services Digital Network) lines, with two types on offer. Either ISDN-2 or ISDN-30 lines.

An ISDN-2 line could support 2 numbers and an ISDN-30 line could support up to 30 numbers.

If you needed 5 numbers, you could get 3 x ISDN-2 lines into your office and connect them to your office PBX (private branch exchange) phone system.

If you needed 100 lines, you would get 4 x ISDN-30 lines (you could have 3 x ISDN-30 + 5 x ISDN-2 to get to 100 but this would be constrained, typically you would have 4 x ISDN-30 to provide you with capacity for growth to flex up to 120 lines if needed).

The PBX is the office switch board that allows you to transfer calls and make calls internally. You can make as many internal (extension to extension) calls as you wanted concurrently, but inbound and outbound numbers are limited to the number of lines you had going into your PBX. A company could have 100 staff but only 5 inbound / outbound lines so only 5 concurrent phone calls could me made either to or from the company at any one time.

Fast forward to modern times, as telephony and VoIP (voice over internet protocol) was introduced. This allowed voice calls to be made over a computer network and made it easier to have more flexible phone solutions because of the internet protocol part of the VoIP name. It meant you could use computer networks to connect your handset to the back end phone system.

In conjunction with VoIP we also have SIP (session initiated protocol). SIP is the protocol that is used to initiate, modify, and terminate communication sessions. It is the layer that allows you to establish a telephone network, it is where you assign phone numbers and concurrent lines to a system and VoIP is your voice sitting on top of it when you make a call. It is a bit like the old fashioned physical cable that used to run from the exchange to your handset, but it builds this connection virtually, over the top of the computer network, removing the need for physical connections.

With the combination of VoIP, SIP and cloud based phone systems, it is now possible to have a phone solution for your business that gives you all the advantages of your own internal phone switch without needing a physical bit of hardware to run your phones, or physical wires from the exchange to your office.

It lets you work anywhere, so long as your have an internet connection because it uses the internet to establish the connection between the cloud PBX and the handsets.

Our cloud PBX solution

Our solution leverages this, we use SIP trunks for hosting the numbers used in the business and we add one SIP channel to the trunk for each concurrent call that the business requires. Think of it like this, one SIP channel = 1 phone line that can be used for inbound and outbound calls.

If you business needs the ability to make or receive 4 concurrent calls, it would need 4 SIP channels.

Every SIP channel we add to a phone solution includes a bundle of 2000 minutes each month that can be used for calling UK geographic numbers and UK mobile numbers.

You only need SIP channels for the number of concurrent calls you make, not the number of staff you have using the solution.

Four concurrent lines would require four SIP channels, each having a call bundle so the business would get a shared pool of 8000 inclusive minutes to use that month by all of the users in the business. The pool of minutes are shared across all extensions, rather than it being 2000 per channel, so if one person is making a LOT of calls, they could use the lions share of the pool without incurring additional costs.

Our packages are very competitive as well, in fact we are confident we can beat your existing supplier and we aren't like other telephony providers that try to lock you into seven year contracts.

We are different, our telephony contracts start at 12 month duration with the option of a 24 month contract with a call bundle discount. We can do longer contracts with bigger savings, we just won't force you to!

Our phone solution supports multiple inbound numbers, direct dial and geographic and non-geographic numbers, as well as freephone and premium rate lines.

Our phone solution allows you to have:

Desk phones - physical telephone handset extensions on the desk
Wireless phones - physical portable wireless telephone that connects to the phone system over WiFi
Soft phones - software application on your mobile or computer that is a virtual phone extension of the phone system
Call recording
System attendant (press 1 for sales, press 2 for accounts etc...)
Voicemail with voicemail to email option
Conference calling
Geographic and non-geographic numbers
Freephone and premium rate numbers
Call routing and hunt groups
Reporting and analytics
Security and compliance
Microsoft 365 integration
Plus many more enterprise features, whatever your phone system can do, we are confident ours can as well

If you would like more information or you would like to see it in action, call us on 01722 411 999 and we can show you how it works, how easy it is to use and provide you with a quote to see if we can beat your current phone system contract.

We love our phone solution, it is feature rich, yet simple to use, and we are sure you and your staff will love it also.

Christmas is a time of giving, but don't accidentally give away too much!

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000

I don't want to sound like the Grinch with the title of this article when I say don't give too much this Christmas, so let me explain a bit further.

Christmas is a time of giving and more people are using electronic cards and email to send Christmas messages, which makes it a prime time for cyber attacks as hackers take advantage of this time of goodwill. They are banking on the fact that people will be more willing to open emails, click on links and accidently infect their machines.

Remember, cyber criminals will be as active as Santa over the Christmas period so be careful.

They will use social engineering to find out people's contacts in various social networks, often focussing on old contacts that have not been in touch for a while, hoping it makes the recipient want to spark up a connection and open the email, or attachment, or click on a link. They will use multiple ways of trying to compromise your security, they don't care about being on Santa's naughty list!

So here are a few top tips for staying safe this Christmas:

Beware the ‘Phishmas’ grinches - Not every Christmas email brings good tidings! Cyber scammers dress up their messages to look like trusted retailers or even “Santa’s Helpers.” Watch out for suspicious links, odd greetings, and spelling that’s more tangled than a box of old fairy lights. Never click unless you’re sure it’s safe—don’t let phishing spoil your holiday spirit
Shop like a wise Elf - Stick to well-known online shops when searching for that perfect gift. Make sure you see a padlock (🔒) and ‘https’ in your browser—your clue that it’s safe to enter payment details. And remember: public Wi-Fi is for carols, not for shopping! Save your online purchases for your secure home connection rather than a public Wi-Fi hotspot, there are often fake hotspots (called an evil twin) that hackers use to intercept your details
Don’t let fake deliveries steal Christmas - With sleighfuls of parcels en route, you might get texts about deliveries. But beware: cyber crooks send fake notifications with naughty links. If in doubt, dash directly to the official delivery website or app to check your parcel’s journey - no reindeer required
Social Media: Watch out for festive fakes - Not every festive competition or charity appeal is real, even if it comes with cute reindeer emojis. Don’t overshare or click on links from unknown sources. Spread holiday cheer, not your personal info
Trust Your Festive Instincts - If a Christmas offer seems too sparkly to be true, or you get a message that gives you the holiday heebie-jeebies, pause! Double-check before you act, and don’t let the Christmas rush jingle-bell your judgement
Give Your Devices the Gift of Updates - Update your computer(s), phone(s), tablet(s) and apps so they’re wrapped up tight against cyber threats. Turn on automatic updates and let your devices become as secure as Santa’s workshop

Wishing You a Safe & Merry Christmas

By following these festive tips, you can sleigh the cyber criminals and enjoy a Christmas filled with joy, laughter, and peace of mind.

Share the good word with friends and family, and have the happiest—and safest— techie Christmas ever.

If you want help with any of the tips, call us on 01722 411 999 and we will be your jolly little helpers.

Christmas Opening Hours

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Our Christmas opening hours are:

Mon 22nd Dec 8:30 - 17:30
Tue 23rd Dec 8:30 - 17:30
Wed 24th Dec 8:30 - 13:00 (HALF DAY)
Thu 25th Dec CLOSED
Fri 26th Dec CLOSED
Mon 29th Dec 8:30 - 17:30
Tue 30th Dec 8:30 - 17:30
Wed 31st Dec 8:30 - 17:30
Thu 1st Jan CLOSED
Fri 2nd Jan 8:30 - 17:30

Tech Tip – How to use the immersive reader in Microsoft Outlook

Thu, 27 Nov 2025 00:00:00 +0000

There is a feature built into Microsoft Outlook called The Immersive Reader, which is primarily to help people with Dyslexia, but it is also a very powerful tool that anyone can use to process emails. It is especially useful if you have long emails to get through or if you get emails written in another language.

You can use the immersive tool to read emails aloud, allowing you to listen to them rather than read them and you can use it to translate emails in real time, allowing you to focus on the content of the email rather than getting lost in the text.

To use the immersive email reader, do the following:

Open Microsoft Outlook
Browse to the email you would like to listen to rather than read
Open the email and click on the three dots "more actions" menu that looks like (...) that is typically at the top of the message
Select "Show in immersive reader"
This opens a new window, with the text of the email in a dyslexia friendly format
At the bottom of the screen, click on the play button (that is a right pointing triangle) to read the contents of the email aloud.

Note: You can click on the picture of a speaker to adjust the voice and the playback speed

Give it a go and see how easy it is for Microsoft Outlook to read emails aloud for you rather than finding yourself adrift in a sea of words.

If you would like more information about what the Immersive Reader can do, click here to go to Microsoft's website about this Outlook feature.

Tips on how to protect yourself from Phishing attacks

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Phishing attacks are getting more sophisticated and are often either difficult to spot or the email just doesn’t raise any red flags or suspicions and get through.

To get you thinking about how large the problem is, here are four headline statistics to think about:

On average every 1 in 4 email messages received by people is either malicious or unwanted SPAM emails.
20% of businesses experience at least one of their users mailboxes being compromised with an account take over each month.
83% of malicious Microsoft 365 documents contain QR codes that redirect you to phishing websites.
Half of all business still haven’t setup a DMARC policy, putting them at significant risk of email spoofing, phishing attacks and business email compromise.

Source of the above stats is from Barracuda email security.

Bearing all of this in mind, here are some tips you can use to protect yourself:

Check the email address and domain name carefully.

A little while ago there were emails doing the rounds asking people to change their Microsoft 365 passwords, the email came from support@rnicrosoft.com which fooled a lot of people. At first glance the email address looks legitimate, and a lot of people fell for it. Did you spot the issue in the email address?

Look for anything that is a mismatch.

When you get an email, there are two elements to the sender. The displayed name and the email address. Phishers often use the display name to try to spoof a sender name whilst the actual email address is different to the display name. Check that the contact information is consistent with emails that you have previously had and ensure that nothing is out of place.

Check the language to see if it is consistent with what you would expect to see

If you got an email from someone that you know, check the language. A common theme is that the sender uses American phrases or terminology, that is out of alignment with what someone in the UK would typically use. Examples we have seen include language like “Call me on my new cell number” or “could y’all give me an update on paying that invoice”, things that look out of place with communication you would expect to see.

Check the spelling and grammar

Phishing emails are often riddled with poor spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes, often making them easier to spot. Whilst AI is making this less of a thing, it is still something that occurs due to the context in the message being messed up in translation.

Be wary of urgent or threatening language

Phishers want things to happen quickly because they only have a small window of opportunity, so they will use urgent or aggressive language to try to make the recipient act quickly, without thinking about the consequences. Phishing attacks often use social engineering to get information about senior people in the organisation, then they target someone, often in a junior post and spoof an email coming from the senior member of staff, often with an email with a payment request such as "Pay this invoice NOW!! It is urgent” and as it appears to come from a legitimate source, they often fall for it and pay the invoice to a phishing recipient.

Check links in the email and do not click on any if you don’t need to

Links in emails are a common means of phishing, so it is imperative that you are sure that the link in the email is valid rather than an attack site. To check the validity of a link, move your mouse over a link but don’t click on it. This will show the actual address that the link will take you to, rather than the text displayed in the link. For example, this link here says “www.microsoft.com” but if you hover your mouse over the words, the actual link www.google.com will show somewhere on the screen (bottom left corner in Microsoft Edge), this is because the display information and link are independent from each other, which is why it is so often used for deception in phishing attacks.

NEVER open unexpected attachments in an email

Email attachments are one of the most common mechanisms of getting malware, viruses or ransomware onto a computer so if you are not expecting an email attachment to get sent through to you, do not open it. If you are unsure, ask your managed service provider for advice or for them to check it first on your behalf, which they should be able to do without risk to their infrastructure.

What should you do if you suspect it’s a phishing email?

Don’t open anything in it, like attachments.
Don’t respond to it.
Don’t click on any links in the email.
Report it to your IT partner to check to see if the email is valid or malicious.

If you want to find out how secure your email environment is and you use Microsoft 365, we can run a free security scan on it to check for any threats that may have got through. Call us on 01722 411 999 and we can arrange a scan.